Satire, when done well, has got to be one of my favorite things in this world. It makes a point and does it with a good dose of laughter.
Because of this, I especially appreciate it when a satire site gets the point right, as The Babylon Bee does in a recent piece about the “blame the gun” fallacy.
Now, if you’re not familiar with the blame the gun fallacy, it’s the central idea in all gun control ideology. The thinking is that guns are to blame for gun violence and that the person pulling the trigger is, in effect, innocent.
Of course, we know that’s nonsense, which is why The Babylon Bee‘s piece titled “Shooter Walks Free As Police Tackle, Arrest AR-15” is so funny and so perfect as a satire piece. The rest of the piece says,
LOS ANGELES, CA—There was an attempted shooting earlier today but luckily, the police were close by.
They managed to tackle the shooter’s AR-15 to the floor. They pinned it to the ground and kicked it a few times for good measure, though it did not appear to be resisting arrest.
Bewildered, the shooter shrugged and slowly backed away.
“Honestly I was kinda hoping to make a name for myself,” he told reporters later. “But they just blamed the gun. So… well, I guess I won’t be famous after all.”
“At this point, we aren’t looking for any further suspects,” an FBI official told reporters as the AR-15 was read its rights and hauled away in the back of a police cruiser. “It seems the AR-15 acted entirely of its own volition, without any human operator who might have behavioral or mental issues.”
“The weapon is obviously a menace that needs to be locked up to prevent any further harm,” he added.
According to CDC mortality statistics, of the tens of thousands of gun deaths each year, up to 75% are caused by a rogue assault rifle, shotgun, or handgun acting on its own. “It’s a huge problem that needs to be handled better through addressing the mental problems these types of guns might have well before they act out,” a CDC official said.
“It’s 3 pm. Do you know where your assault rifle is?” he cautioned.
The assault rifle has been charged with several counts of murder, assault, and domestic terrorism, and will be tried as an adult, sources confirmed.
At publishing time, the shooter had decided not to use a gun for his next mass attack so that he will get full credit for it.
Didn’t they nail it? Isn’t this kind of blame the gun, not the shooter nonsense exactly what anti-gunners do? Oh, they may deny it when you ask them individually, but how else does one explain their obsession with banning inanimate objects instead of placing the blame on the people using them?
While The Babylon Bee‘s piece won’t likely change the mind of any anti-gunner, be sure to share this with your pro-gun friends so that they can get a good laugh out of it, too.
Great satire!! And the author hit the nail squarely on the head. Jonathan Swift would very likely have enjoyed it as well.
Very funny stuff. Next they will be arresting our bank accounts because it’s the root of all evil.
Not quite an Aldous Huxley nor Ayn Rand , but it does point the blame to the correct “perpetrator . Is it not curious , that an inanimate object can be the “cause de celebratory ” and rankle so many, yet , these same people who place the blame to the inanimate object due to its’ “destructive ways” , fail to see the same problem with “Planned Parenthood”. After all , how many lives have “Planned Parenthood” murdered to date? 50 plus million and counting?
I was going to compare this to automobiles not running into people on their own but that is no longer true is it, November 9th this year one KILLED a pedestrian. But maybe I can compare it cops shooting through windows INTO a house and killing legitimate residents, one as recently as October the 4th.
At the bottom of the article, the word “Tag” appears What is its purpose and what is its use? I am not a user of social media.
To: David Jernigan: I have a tenant who earned about $1,700 for taking care of, and rendering social services to one less fortunate. He opened and deposited the funds in a Bank of America Account and the IRS immediately and with no warning, confiscated the entire amount on a tax bill that was over 25 years old… No your bank balance will not be arrested. It will be confiscated.. The event happened during the Obama administration while the president was piling palates of currency onto planes to go to IRAN to bribe IRAN to sign the non proliferation pact || I tried to get this ex marine to go to the Riverside IRS to challenge the taking but he was at an advanced age and just lacked the drive and gas money.. The County had held up his payment for many months…
On the article.. I thought that it was not that clever…
Seems to me all the assumptions of blame, responsibility and motive make it difficult to look any event objectively and this creates inconsistency. If a person uses a firearm, a car, poison, explosive materials, or even an egg beater to kill another human being, they are to blame and nobody else nor the manufacturer of the weapon of choice.
The weapons or tools used in the commission of a crime are irrelevant as it is the human that committed the crime and the only one to be put on trial. We don’t outlaw, restrict or ban many items used in the commission of crimes because they’re useful or considered necessary items and technically are not weapons. So to blame firearms and deem them as tools of murder is one sided and ignores the other side of the coin which is that everyday, gun owners use their pistols, rifles and shotguns to defend themselves and save their lives and often the lives of others.
And in the end, those who are in politics and hold government jobs will always provide personal exemptions and in the case of government officials and their rich, celebrity friends, they enjoy a greater level or security than the average person. Not once have we heard an anti-gun liberal contend to the idea that they should abide by the same laws or that they would be willing to give up their taxpayer provided security guards, armored limousines or private travel options. None claim they would feel so much safer after the banning of firearms that they would themselves walk down dark streets unprotected by well armed security professionals.
They expect the average person from fairly wealthy to the most destitute to be unarmed while exposed to greater dangers and potential threats than any rich elitist, Hollywood celebrities or politicians. Those who live in gated communities with high tech surveillance, alarm systems, and receive government sponsored armed security teams should not decide how or if those less “protected” should own firearms or weapons to protect themselves. It’s as much of a double standard as forcing citizens to accept the current medical insurance laws while they are exempt and receive more benefits (dollars) from social security than citizens that really need it to survive. Those in politics serve the people and the country. They’re not there to provide themselves with exemptions and suck the crème off the milk while leaving the taxpaying citizens to lick sour remnants from an empty bucket.
Guns don’t kill people. People kill people not guns
We still strugle with the lack of understanding that we have a people problem, not a weapons problem. We cannot seem to understand that any weapon will not kill anything without a human using the weapon to commit the crime. It is the human who makes the choice. First we choose a gun, then a knife (or vehicle for mass killings. We can then move down the scale to rocks and wood. How many rocks and limbs are there in the US? Ah yes, back in time we had a young man with a sling shot that killed a giant of a man. Sling shots come in various forms today. I guess we should have outlawed those many centuries back. Of course, these “killing” weapons should have been outlawed centuries ago. The same could be said for archery as well.
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